Last minute ideas for all your couple needs. And by that, I mean you and your best friend, your significant other, or your dog. But mostly your dog.
I love Halloween. I’ve read a lot of things about how it can be formative for LGBTQ youth since you have license to be whatever you want. Feel like a ballerina? Go for it, Jack. Wanna be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Awesome little, Megan. But here’s the thing (and don’t hate me for being this privileged), I was too dumb to realize that my mom hated me getting the boy’s happy meal or fighting to play baseball instead of softball. I had zero clue that I might want to be a girly thing for Halloween. So this is not the post about being comfortable in my skin one night a year. This is not a post where I pulled a Twelfth Night and kissed a girl. And this is certainly not a post about the bane of the costume world, the “sexy” version of anything.
No–this is a love ballad to a holiday where people give you candy, you still get to celebrate as an adult with little judgement, and sometimes offices give you awards for chili cookoffs. And honestly, this is a chance to share picture of my favorite costumes under the guise of giving you last minute ideas.
Me at 5 years old as TMNT Donatello. Also featured, my siblings who probably don’t want this image on the internet. One day, I asked my mom to “scan and send” me this picture. She scanned it and actually sent–via USPS–a piece of paper with this picture. Because god love her.
I love this holiday so much, I start looking for costume ideas in April. If you haven’t figured out my obsessive love for my dog Murle yet, I have at least as many coordinating outfits for me and him as I do for me and my wife. I’ve even asked them to be the same thing before–you know, so I don’t have to change what I am at the office vs. our inevitable bash. But I would never double up; coming up with something new is just too much fun. And I say inevitable because every year, we hope for a halloween party to crop up and when none comes, Alyssa steps in. Because she is the greatest. We over cook, over plan, and dig out the skipping DVD of Hocus Pocus. All so I have somewhere to show off the 14th costume idea I’ve had this year.
So here’s the excitement you’ve all been waiting for– my favorite costumes for people with no desire to dress sexy, might want to have a couples costume, and have no problem being so esoteric ½ the people at the party have no idea what you are. Because you’re just that fucking hip, OK!?
The Mighty Boosh and Old Greg
How To: The Mighty Boosh is pretty straight forward. Khakis, bucket hat, flannel shirt and a mustache. The lynchpin here is Old Greg. Suit jacket with skinny tie, braided hair or a wig to mimic seaweed, a tutu and piece de resistance, a headlamp where Old Greg’s sun does shine.
P.S. if you have no idea what I’m talking about – get as close to Bailey’s as you can without your eyes getting wet here: https://youtu.be/4LZo9ugJTWQ
Paleontologist and Dig-Site
How To: So I bought that dino costume, but pet costumes are pretty inexpensive. For my costume, some khakis, boots, a button up, a handkerchief and an old hat made me feel like Indiana Jones.
Gonzo and Fozzie Bear
How To: I printed a high res picture of Gonzo onto some cardstock, found a pair of blue footie pajamas and some red shorts to be Gonzo the Great. I found a hat from another pet costume and paired with a pink bow tie from Goodwill to make a Fozzie costume for Murle! It would probably work for humans too… I mean, if you had to.
Bojack Horseman and Princess Carolyn
That’s Murle down in the corner as Mr. Peanutbutter.
How To: EASILY one of the best halloween decisions I’ve ever made is getting a mask plan through this website: https://wintercroft.com/. Patterns are like $6 (5 Euros). You print them onto cardstock, cut them out, and attach them. It takes a good amount of time, so set aside a good 3-4 hours. But then you get an awesome, inexpensive paper mask. You can paint it or adjust it to fit your costume needs!
We were wireless before the earbuds were… Just sayin.
How To: we used hula hoops, covered in them in sheer fabric and cut a face hole. Then we did white around the edges and over the back like a hood. Paired with white t-shirts and shorts– write an L or an R on you belly!
BONUS: Murle Dog in a Sheriff Costume!